MALACHAI WELCOMES FIRST FRANCHISE MEMBER!!! MALCAHAI BETA IS HERE.

Did you ever want to try to *rock*, but you don’t have the time or ability? Did you ever want to become an enigmatic ghost, but social mores and norms got in the way? Well then....4Xbeaver Records has the answer for you! You can become the MALACHAI OF YOUR TOWN (TM)!

The source Malachai (TM) will provide you with everything you need! Which essentially means that YOU don’t even have to become a human ashtray yourself. No alcohol dependence! No court costs! No disproportionate intensity! No temporary amnesia! No home-made feelings! No bruising! And YOU will even be afforded access to some of the source Malachai’s (TM) more racy journals, and take these shocking stories, and claim them as your own!

For a small start-up cost of 200 (US) dollars, and a small monthly fee,YOU can be the MALACHAI OF YOUR TOWN!

The beginner’s kit includes:

(1) Roland Smartmedia memory card, pre-loaded with all of the latest Malachai (TM) songs! (Franchisees must secure a Roland MC-505 Groovebox (TM), on their own time.)

(1) Notepad full of Malachai (TM) lyrics and tabs!

(1) Cup of Shea Butter Herbal Pomade, to achieve that sleek, “I’vebeen up for six days and I can’t remember what nature looks like” look to YOUR hair, without even smoking any meth!

(1) Pair of socks! (Source Malachai (TM) dress code and diagrams included in the Notepad.)

(1) “How to Walk Like Malachai” (TM) Videocassette!

(1) “How to Hold Your Guitar Like Malachai” (TM) Videocassette! (Franchisees must secure guitar on own time.)

(1) Handheld stainless steel switch-blade pocket comb.

(1) Pair of white & grey gum shoes.

Download and fill out this form, and the Source Malachai (TM) will contact you promptly!