VENT-The Next Generation

Volume 1

3-12-97 welp, now I know what hell is like, and just how bad it can get. yeah, of course i live in mississippi. what gave it away? oh, the 'hell' part. hmm. welp, it's like living in a whole different country. everything is so different, the people are so different, it's fuckin' weird. if i were a hick or old, it'd be great. but i'm not. it's boring as shit here. yes, much more boring than pensacola. TRUST ME. wanna know what's here? trailer home dealers, lawyers, white trash furniture stores, dry cleaners, and hospitals. the mall makes mariner mall look cool. they're building a new one and everyone seems to have the impression it's gonna turn this shithole into a major metropolis or something. please... i want to enlist in the army just to get the hell out of here. and the army is not my style at all, so that ought to send a pretty strong message... the people here drive me insane. everyone's so nice when they're talking to you, but the rest of the time, they are rude as shit, inconsiderate, noisy, stuck-up, obnoxious, annoying... should I go on? today for example, we didn't have water for 4 hours because some stupid children jumped on and threw rocks at the water main until it broke. that's pretty fuckin' stupid. and everyone here is so behind the times... every commercial(local ones) has either 1)dogs on furniture or 2)someone pretending to be a spy to sell either 4-wheelers or cheap furniture. i am dead fucking serious. well, that's just some actually. most of the commercials, on cable, are commercials from the cable company, telling the viewers (who have cable) why they should get cable. that's fucking annoying enough to make me want to pay the extra 100something a month to get a fucking dish like the ones these idiots try to keep me from buying... dumbasses... people here can't drive either. most of the people drive like it's a CART indycar race. the rest of 'em are blue-haired ladies that get in the fast lane and go so slow the fucking asphalt in the road moves faster than they do. and when they park, like... the people are halfway to the door before they even set the brake. and they will do ANYTHING to park as close to the building as they can to avoid having to walk an extra 10 feet. these nimrods will squeeze between two spaces(damn everyone's paint job, as long as i don't have to walk an extra inch, hyuk hyuk hyuk. i like nascar hyuk hyuk hyuk) or block anyone and everyone in. and don't even get me started on the local "news". first, the newspaper. first, i use more paper to wipe my ass. but i guess when nothing happens, there's nothing to print. and the tv news is even worse. two stations are owned by the same people, so the same meaningless, waste-of-airtime news is on 2 channels at the same time. fortunately, it's the same time howard stern comes on(go see private parts. it's the best movie since forrest gump). anyway, these channel's weather dude is hilarious looking. first, his hairline is like, right behind his ears. second, his head is huge. from his eyebrows, his head goes up about 2 feet. no joke, no exaggeration. anyway, i kinda hope in a way none of the locals read this. they've been living like this for years and (As far as i can tell) they seem happy with it. i'm the one that's out of place here. i just like to bitch about it(as you all know.) anyway, (maybe it'll be up by the time anyone reads this), i'm _trying_ to get my homepage up. it'll have\has links to cool and unusual sites, vent(well. new ones. pctools decided it didn't want to stop at just compressing the hd, it wanted to format it too, so... i lost everything. on the bright side, i've got 300+ megs of free space now.).... and lots of (what else?) bitching and complaining. the url will be http://www.cybertron.com/~chunk... anyway, feel free to email me(chunk@cybertron.com) as i have no life and more free time than most dead people. umm... and bite me. Back