Below are some things that I have written concerning our friend over there. Some were written as I was auditing a Seminary class taught on Merton's spirituality as reflection papers. These were reflections written after listening to teaching tapes of Merton teaching monks at Gethsemani (these tapes are great by the way).

I also keep a journal on a fairly regular basis and I've included some of those things here that I've written which either refer to tha man directly or are influenced by his teaching - where the light he had has shed light on me.

Enjoy and God's Grace be with you!

Reflection on the Mystical Life
Alan Creech

Adam's real sin was to want to do good. What a statement! I believe that this comes closer to the reality of the situation than I have ever heard. It really makes a great deal of sense. He was lead into a life of observing himself doing good, or bad. In this he became one who was aware of himself as one apart from God. Then it became him, Adam, doing the good and seeing himself. He was at that moment more self-aware than God-aware.

Before this he simply WAS good. In his union with God, he was innocently not aware of good or bad - he just was. It was enough for him to be and be one with God. I believe that this is an awesome understanding of what really took place in the "fall" of man. He became at that juncture the possessor of his existential self, of the self that stands alone outside of God. It is into this that we are born, spiritually, from the seed of our father Adam; into the curse of self-awareness. We are enough in ourselves and we go about finding our-selves alone, standing outside the union with God for which and in which we were created.

Then, after we have come into the "new birth", into spiritual union with Him in Christ once again - real, eternal, spiritual oneness; then we must go on a journey in which we gain further and further practical and experiential union with Him in our mind and in our outward behaviour. We are now, with this initial connection, going on in it to find our new "self", the self that has been placed in us and made in the image of God.

But, we must come to realize that we can't achieve this manifested union in the way of the fall. We can't look for union with God, neither internal and hidden nor external and apparent, by going about "doing good" and seeing ourselves do so, and being duly impressed by our goodness, and expecting God to be so as well. We have to allow God to show us and lead us into Adam's way before the fall! Sure we should desire this mystical union; this eternal understanding of reality, because this is what we were created for, but we must go about it by faith and not outward tricks and gimmicks.

Another major point is that when we do receive a sort of enlightening in a certain area we simply sit on our behinds thinking that we are very "spiritual" because we have seen a bit more of the road, but we never do what is necessary for that Truth to really take root in us and bring about the transformation that we so desire. Many of us cursorily know things but we never really work it through. I am very glad that he pointed out, as well, that this working was not primarily an outward doing, but an inward thing - change from inside-out. We must get where this thing is real with and in us. Then it can become actual. We will live it and not just hold it in our noggin.

"It is not enough to accept it up here, you have to accept in practice
by doing the work that the acceptance implies."

It's a matter of internal attitudes more than of external behaviour; very much indeed. This whole new thing is much, much more than just mere imitation. Imitate for a time, perhaps, until the real deal comes, but know and believe, by faith, that it will come and that it is not your adornment of yourself with "virtues" and "works" that allegedly please God that will usher it in. It is, rather, that we come to know - really know, by faith without having to see and we are open and then we are changed.

Out of this Truth then flows the every day working through of the eternal reality to which we have been made privy. This is a constant thing and I suppose to get into how all this effects my life, or anyone's life for that matter, I should say that it is all very practical, though to some it may seem quite "out there". I want to know God. I want to deepen my relationship with Him. Not only that; I want that union that I have with Him to be more apparent. I want to live in it!

"How though?", I ask, as do many. Well, when I hear these things, I hear a least a good part of the how as well as the what. So now, I know to BE in union and not to existentially struggle to attain it. Now, I know and am encouraged to come to a full grasping of Truth, and to work through the eternal light that is given to me so that it becomes real in me and then actual in my life. I also know not to get what I'll call "spooky"; floating around in a sea of emotion about what I've seen or have begun to know, but to settle myself down into going about doing the good (or the God) that I know now - living in Him as I am in Him and not killing myself over what is next. I heard a spiritual superior of mine once say to "learn the lessons of now". He was encouraging some of us who had a tendency to freak out over what was coming, when, and so forth to live for God now and to do what we knew to do right now! I, in time learned that he was saying just what Father Louis said; not to be carried away with what is to come and all that - do now what has been given you to do or know and that is all you need to do. The progression will come, but not because you grunt and strain over it. This is something most of us need to hear, often! Especially young "ministers" who are so impatient to go and save the world. We could all probably use a good dose of "settle down and just do what you're doing".

This is Life, not some Religion. So, the life that I have, I must live it, and if more comes, I will live that as well. These are all Spiritual Truths, but are absolutely as practical as it gets about living the "Spiritual Life" on Earth whether one is in a monastery or not. I sometimes wish that I was there with them, but I know that for me that would be the easy way out. I would not be living what I have been given, what has been willed for "me". I hear all those words he said as words to me where I am right now, so that I might be able to more effectively live in union with God and be made able to help others to do the same, as is possible even outside the walls.

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