What we do when we can't

Silence and pain
a piercing combination
Death and tears
an entrapment I can't escape
Questioning always
Answers never
Words with no meaning
Meaning with no expression
Slowly killing
The left is dead
The right has gone
I feel left alone
All fear
no feelings or emotion
just knowing
ready
take aim
and fire
A blade
the deep pools
of dripping blood
I cry alone
with no one there
on green paper
and black pen
deep seeded anger
nothing
not at all

So that what came from my mind when I thought of Mark and Chad the other day. It's just thoughts and feelings out into verse, but what else would poetry be if not that? What would life be if not that? We are nothing but pure imperfection no matter how hard we try. Nothing at all without....

Thank goodness, someone intelligent to talk to

I am so happy/ excited, Kyle is coming back to KY and staying for like two weeks!! Yay yay yay. I've missed him bunches and can't wait to see him. He probably won't be as excited to see me as I will to see him, but hey, that's how it goes sometimes.

Anyways, there are only 6 weeks of school left in the year, and GOD will I be super happy when it's out. The stress will finally be off. Not only am I dealing with school projects, etc. but my school will be putting on a play next weekend, and that I always a bit stressful.

Well I know this was stupid and pointless and no body really cares that awfully much because it's about regular life instead of some profound statement of theology or something like that, but hey, DEAL with it.

KYLE IS COMING BACK! YAY!!

Beautifully saddening

This is the entry I put in my journal the day of Mark's burial.

Mark's funeral was today. There were so many people there. It's just amazing to know that he had an effect on so many people's lives.

The burial was first. There were many tears shed. I cried when the people of the LP community started ariving. I cried when I saw them bring the casket and set it down. I cried when I saw his brother, who looked so much like him. I cried when I heard Amy speak. I cried when I heard his father speak. I cried when I saw other people cry. I cried at just about everything, truly. Even the "big guys" broke down. After the pastor/priest/ bishop (not quite sure which) said what he had to say I saw Chris Marshall pretty much bawling his eyes out while he was sitting a little ways away on a gravestone (that made me cry even more because it made me realize once again what an impact he had on all of us). I definitely cried when I saw Micah playing around with no real understanding of what was going on. It was so innocent though.

After the eulogy and the little celebration ceremony at this church, a lot of us went to eat at Mark's favorite restaurant, Haiku. When we got done there we went to 64 King for a while. During the rest of the day there were so many people who went and got the "Palmer" tattoo (elpida tree). Some people got the whole tree & word, and some just got the word. But I think it was kind of cool that so many people were getting it in memoriam.

I think I cried more that day then I ever have in my entire life. But this weekend at Cinci was full of some good times. I only wish we could've stayed through Friday, I hate missing things.

Okay, This is already a long post. I will maybe do a continuation later tonight, cuz I'm on spring break and I don't have to go to bed early!!

Love & Peace, Katey

She kept him close to her
Every moment they shared
Till the very last breath
To the very last beat of his heart
She held hope, they held hope
We all held hope
And we continue, and we pray, and we still have faith
And we pray
And we pray
And we pray
All these eyes that I see
some with sorrow and tears
some with anger and fears
I saw every last drop, they saw every last drop
He saw every last drop
And we go on, and we pray, and we still have faith
And we pray
And we pray
And we pray
Although the grief holds much pain
And all these hearts ache
It just seems like it will never stop
And we continue, and we go on, and we still have faith
And we pray
And we pray
And we pray

Our prayers are with the people of Landing Place. Keep on keepin' on. Peace and healing be with you.